I miss cutting so much. The way it felt, the blood, the feeling of being alive. I wish I had a blade right now but everything is locked up, there is nothing I can cut with. I want to scream. I want to cut so bad it hurts. I want something,  anything to take away my pain. Its like an addiction, it is an addiction. Once you start cutting you cant stop, its all you think about. I cant go one day without thinking about it. It is always on my mind. I want it to stop I want to stop thinking about it but I can't. Why can't I stop? I want to stop thinking about it so bad. I want to cut so bad. I don't know what to do.